i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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