i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
