yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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