yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
