honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
