Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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