Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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