Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
