im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
