Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
