I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
