Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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