theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
