Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize