you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
