I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize