under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
