those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
