Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.