why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Alive.
So much puke
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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