He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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