watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
