If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
