im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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