Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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