Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I believe in your delicious
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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