Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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