I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
