Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
