Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
