About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
