I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
