I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
