...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
