it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
