you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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