Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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