I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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