my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize