For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
