what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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