so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
