we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
