The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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