apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
