my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
