He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This house was built for laser tag.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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