but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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