what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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