We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
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You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.