Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday