wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos