I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.