ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
