she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
