Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize