I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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