hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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