Well apparently he's into motor boating.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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