i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
