Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
